Friday, August 5, 2011

Blue Friday

In tears today. They just keep coming in fits and spurts, hot and liquid, congesting my sinuses and turning at least parts of my face a humiliating red. And all of this for no abnormal reason. There is nothing unusual or different about today. No catastrophe or loss has occurred, but there's a gaping void, nonetheless.

I've warned the coworkers and even laughed as my voice caught in my throat and beads born of virulent disaffection slid down my cheeks and made my chin slick. To myself, I keep saying "Keep it together" and "Get over it." Somehow these little pep talks are just making it worse.

Is there anything more ridiculous than sitting at your desk, randomly whimpering and sobbing and sniffling and not having even the semblance of an explanation to give the people suddenly walking on eggshells around you? The “What’s wrong?”s are just hovering in the air, waiting to be given a voice- and if they do I’m afraid I may scream.

Good thing I’m locked in a box all day.

I either need a purpose or a donut. Or maybe skydiving would do the trick. We’ll see what happens.

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