Saturday, September 17, 2011


I know, I know. I’ve been neglectful. No stray words or thoughts for this lonely blog for many days (weeks?) now. There’s been a touch of infidelity on my side, I have to admit. My attentions have been drawn elsewhere- and darned if I haven’t been feeling a tad more fulfilled than is my general wont, as a result.

Wherefore this miraculous uplift? Ah. Well, you see, I’ve entered the world of fandom.

There I’ve said it. I am a fan girl. I mean this in every sense. I read fanfiction and copy fan art jpegs into a special folder on my computer. I buy fan-designed t-shirts from abroad. I spend a remarkably surprising amount of time looking for pictures that I can blog or reblog on Tumblr. Tumblr! (Speaking of which, can anybody instruct me on how to make a GIF or reply to a message?) And if there happened to be a convention, it’s possible I’d actually want to go.

I should probably be experiencing a shame so deep it turns my ears bright red, and makes me hide my omnipresent pastime like any other addiction; but I‘m having too much fun. Why did no one direct me to this bastion of freakdom before?

There are some truly funny, talented, twisted, remarkable, gentle, goofy, intelligent people out here in fandom and finding this- finding them- has gifted me with one of those rare instances where I feel there’s someplace I can belong. Granted it seems to be amongst disaffected girls between the ages of 15 and 24, but if that’s where I feel almost comfortable, then why shouldn’t I stick around for a bit?

Creativity and black humor meet here (old friends of mine). Loyalty and acceptance parade about in here not caring whether they’re dressed in The Emperor’s New Clothes or trendy hipster skinny jeans. In here ideas are borrowed and shared with equal good grace.

I will always want more of everything, it’s in my nature, but fandom is helping to sate a part of me I have allowed to remain hollow and closed off. And I really, really like filling up that hole.

I'm not deserting you, blog o'mine, I'm broadening my horizons (lame, lame expression).

So, yeah, um, wish me luck :)

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